Ways to end a relationship. I have been painting to a dvd of the movie "Camille Claudel" lately.. yes it is in French, yes it is subtitled, no I don't speak French and I only occasionally look up at the TV screen. It is about the passion and I guess the dark side. It is about obsession and the goal of keeping that emotion alive and forever reaching toward being a good artist.
So, why would I have that in a title about Zelda Fitzgerald? It's because I think may have rolled around in F Scott Fitzgerald's head constantly. Mental illness is a difficult thing to deal with and F Scott had plenty of it to deal with with his wife Zelda.
Years ago when I was in High School, and I am NOT saying how long ago that was!..lol! I read a book simply called "Zelda". I have been intrigued with her ever since. She died sadly in a fire in a sanitarium. To a young girl in high school that added a drama that created a mystique for my young mind and remains as I said till today.
Zelda Fitzgerald spent eighteen years of her life in different stages of mental illness. Yet, at times she was able to write some of her best work, including her only novel, "Save Me the Waltz". She also painted several abstract paintings. She died in 1948, with her few remaining unpublished works, her last letters to F Scott Fitzgerald, before he died, the last pieces of what had become a pitiful life. Before she died she was in the process of writing a second novel, "Caesar's Things", when a fire consumed the sanitarium where she lived in Asheville, North Carolina. Sad pitiful end.
"It is the loose ends with which men hang themselves."
"By the time a person has achieved years adequate for choosing a direction, the die is cast and the moment has long since passed which determined the future."
"Youth doesn't need friends -- it only needs crowds."
"There seemed to be some heavenly support beneath his shoulder blades that lifted his feet from the ground in ecstatic suspension, as if he secretly enjoyed the ability to fly but was walking as a compromise to convention."
"Mr. Fitzgerald--I believe that is how he spells his name--seems to believe that plagiarism begins at home."
"We grew up founding our dreams on the infinite promise of American advertising. I still believe that one can learn to play the piano by mail and that mud will give you a perfect complexion."
"Oh, the secret life of man and woman --dreaming how much better we would be than we are if we were somebody else or even ourselves, and feeling that our estate has been unexploited to its fullest."
"Most people hew the battlements of life from compromise, erecting their impregnable keeps from judicious submissions, fabricating their philosophical drawbridges from emotional retractions and scalding marauders in the boiling oil of sour grapes. Save Me the Waltz, 1932"
"I don't want to live -- I want to love first, and live incidentally."
"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold."
"Why do we spend years using up our bodies to nurture our minds with experience and find our minds turning then to our exhausted bodies for solace?"
"Women sometimes seem to share a quiet, unalterable dogma of persecution that endows even the most sophisticated of them with the inarticulate poignancy of the peasant."
~Zelda Fitzgerald.
The image at the top is by Zelda Fitzgerald, "The Queen's Croquet-Ground" "Alice in Wonderland" series
Art knows no boundaries.. hopefully.
by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
copyright 2008
If you click on the title of this blog, it will go to my Nude Art posted on Barebrush
"Ways To End a Relationship-Ways To Leave a Lover
Love Tests of the Heart-Your Own Must Survive"
Thinking of F Scott Fitzgerald
Ways to end relationships
ways to leave a lover
sifting through
love tests
love poems
lost dreams
stories that must end.
There is no shadow
only a red hue
blood on your pillow
weeping from some strange angel
that used to be you.
Isn't that true?
You got lost inside a void
a black hole of sorrow
forgot your own meaning?
It is time to move on
say the words boldly
and out loud.
Maybe first just to yourself
get used to the sound of the words
leaving your mouth.
Hear them
then embrace them.
Ways to end relationships
feel it
become strong.
Imagine a strength
that thus far
you only wish was true.
Who would you be
If you were that strong?
What would you say?
You can wait but I'll be gone.
You can break but I won't care.
I've been on your side
loyal to a fault
but no more.
I'm sure you'll still be counting on 'us'
But I can't.
So beware
my selfish lover
take care.
Do not leave the light on
cause I'll be gone.
I will not miss the utter silence
of a one sided relationship
one that never saw this coming.
Don't just wish you could be that strong.
Or one day you will wake up
days will have passed and you will wonder
wonder about your life
time spent somewhere you did not want to be.
It is time...
time to feel your own courage
say those words
that until now you've only wished you could.
Ways to leave a lover?
Some way to end a relationship?
Yours for the decision.
by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
copyright 2008
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